At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
