Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
