Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
