The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
