My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
