It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
