No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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