when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
