in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
no, he came in my armpit
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
