These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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