You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
