On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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