so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I supernannyed him into submission
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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