See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
