We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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