I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize