I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
