hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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