so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
