Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
