whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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