And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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