I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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