Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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