the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
