winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
