i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
