I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
