I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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