So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I think a kid would responsible me up
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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