Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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