Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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