Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
