i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
