They should really pass out barf bags in church
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
