Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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