Christians are straight up FREAKS
"it" just moved
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
