yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Randomize
