Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
where am i from again
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
