boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
