so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize