My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
