i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I have fence marks all over my body
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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