If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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