I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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