i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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