What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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