if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
