he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
