Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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