What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
It's just like the Real World with babies
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
