If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
