so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
