i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
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