you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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