Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
