Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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