It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
