i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
