marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
