This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Randomize
