i think i have herpe
just one?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
