Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
