so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
