I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
