Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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