Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
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