is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
